🌊 Issue #5: On Balls Dropping
or giving up seemingly important things, why the Finns are the best people ever, and a new recipe.
Hola friends! 👋
I missed last week’s update because I was feeling tired in a hundred different ways.
It was the first full week that we were back home in Barcelona and back to our regular routine. I also started working with a new coaching client, started a fitness battle with a friend, and worked on resuscitating some of my troubled plants. So between all of that and my sessions with my own career coach that also just started - I figured I had every excuse in the world not to send out a newsletter.
It was also a good reminder that it’s ok to let some balls drop.
Before you start snickering, I’m talking about this analogy from Nora Roberts (Twitter thread below 👇)
Speaking of dropping some balls. There were a few more that I dropped in the last 2 weeks.
Some of you know that I co-founded a community for women here in Barcelona in 2019. Since we started, the community has grown greatly, and we’ve had women from all parts of the world join us. The community has been a huge source of pride and energy for me.
But it was also a constant source of frustration. My co-founders and I were not aligned. And resentment started to grow and fester. Mostly mine. Which was another source of my frustration, really.
So I did the only thing that was left for me to do. I decided to let that ball drop. It was a long time coming, if I’m being honest. But something I held off on doing because I was afraid of what I could miss out on if the community continued to grow. Plus, saying I was Co-founder of something felt too amazing to give up so easily.
But a conversation with my coach really flipped a switch in my brain.
While I did want to spend more time in the things that resonate with my purpose, I also did not want to spend any more of it in constant battle with my feelings every time I even thought about the community.
And that was that. I decided that I wanted to continue serving my purpose but it was no longer going to be through Career Hacking for Women. And damn, coming to that decision felt like letting out a big breath that I have been holding in for so long. The relief was real.
Funny enough, my co-founders also decided to drop their own CHFW balls the same time I told them I was out. 😅 For once, we were on the same page.
So now, I won back some of my time. And the possibilities of what to do with it are seemingly endless!
Should I expand my coaching business with more clients? Should I start another community? Should I get more naps?
Naps won. For now, at least. But tomorrow? Who knows? 🤷♀️
So dear person who’s reading this, it’s OK to let some balls drop. If you are able to.
I am painfully aware, that having the luxury to say no is a privilege that is not available to many. But if you have access to this, then use it. Use it as much as you can. Too often we allow ourselves to stay in situations that are painful even when we are completely able to walk away from it. I know it’s not easy. But I promise, it’s worth it.
And once you’ve let those balls drop - help others do it too. Because paying it forward is cool.
Until next time ♥️
p.s. Since it’s February 1, I also started a new personal challenge. To not shop for clothes and shoes for as long as I can. Let’s see how long I can last. 😓
What I’m loving these days 💙
Netflix’s Bling Empire kind of puts the characters in the book, Crazy Rich Asians, to shame. These real life CRAs are unapologetic, crass, and sometimes even tacky. Well most of them are. Some are just… ~unbelievable. For a lack of a better word. But I guess they are like that because they can afford it. When I grow up, I want to be Anna Shay. Also fun trivia, the Shaman who appeared in Episode 5 is apparently dating the Princess of Norway 😱
This video from @kabulastugan is giving me so much life. Click to watch. I’ve seen this a bazillion times, but I still cackle in Filipino every time. 😂 This kind of humor and creativity deserves better governance. Just saying. #oustduterte
This post on A cup of Jo that collects the best comments people have left on previous discussions on the blog about sex. Growing up in a very conservative environment, sex was not a topic you talk about over dinner. Of course that changed when my I grew up and my relationships diversified. But I never stopped being fascinated with the many different experiences and feelings that other people, women especially, have about sex. What a beautiful thing that’s being weaponized by the patriarchy, the Church, and everybody else who thinks we’re still in the 1800s.
Currently crushing on this living room. Unbeknownst to my jowa, I am already planning for the house that we have yet to even talk about buying 😂
And lastly, the Finns have got to be one the best group of people in the world. This country of introverts have perfected the art of staying at home so much they even have special words for it. Like my new favorite one - “kalsarikännit. Which pretty much means drinking at home in your underwear. What jowa and I have been doing on our “date nights” since the pandemic started. Except we’re in pajamas because apartments in BCN are not warm enough to be wearing just your underwear in.
What’s Cooking, Good Looking? 👩🍳
Pour more wine for yourself and serve with white rice.
Best shared with person of your choice as this usually serves 2 pretty hungry people. Otherwise, serve with egg for your breakfast the day after. 🍳
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I started this maybe-weekly newsletter because I needed a space where I can just take a break from talking about career, working in tech, and coaching other Product Managers. I needed a space where I can show off my cooking skills, get kilig about the books I’m reading and the movies I’m watching, and sometimes even cry about the things that make me sad.
Want to share your thoughts and feelings, too? Leave me a comment below 👇
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